


Hesitated Expectations

by SomethingCorprt



Series: Great Expectations [1]
Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Anal Beads, Anal Fingering, Anal Play, Anal Sex, M/M, Masturbation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-22
Updated: 2017-03-11
Packaged: 2018-09-26 04:08:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9861815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SomethingCorprt/pseuds/SomethingCorprt
Summary: Mickey goes to pick up new anal beads and meets Ian who works part time in the sex shop.





	1. Can't Turn Back Now

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to focus on Mickey and how he got into sex toys, what kept him there, and how he'd develop his tastes. I thought it was an interesting angle that wasn't totally explored. I think this will be a short work, but lets see where it goes. Thank you to my dear friend Marcie for reading and giving me feedback.

Mickey sat on a bench across from a row of stores. This portion of town was even seedier than his native south side streets, it had that Skid Row feel. The storefronts were dirty looking and dilapidated. The sidewalk was void of any emotion. It was like this part of town was colder than any Chicago winter and sucked the soul of any passerby. Mickey's knee was bouncing up and down, he was on his third cigarette and he kept looking up and down the block to make sure no one he knew was around. Of course no one was around. He couldn't believe that he was even here for fucks sake. " _Just walk in shithead"_  he thought. Mickey shot up, threw the cigarette angrily down to the floor and closed the gap between the bench and the dingy storefront quickly. He ducked inside and let the door close behind him with a jangle of bells crashing.

Inside was dimly lit. Patchwork red and purple crushed velvet adorned the walls. Mickey couldn't help but think how fucking tacky this place was. Still was. It was empty which gave Mickey slight relief. Mickey made his way to the back of the store out of habit. Whizzing past a display of videos and leather accessories, if you looked closely, the walls bore large holes--- representing a different era of the stores history. A neon sign in the back announcing new ahhhhhh-rivals was exactly what Mickey had come for. He finally reached the back wall scanned it starting at the top and when he finally saw the reason for his trip of course it was just out of Mickey's reach. He looked down and chastised his height for what felt like the millionth time and that's when he noticed a large pair of Chuck Taylors just behind him.

“Need help with something… sir” Mickey whipped his head up in the direction of the voice and was greeted by a tall redhead whose hair fell in his emerald green eyes. The redhead was lean, with a strong jaw line and as he rocked back on his heels anticipating a response from Mickey, Mickey felt a flush creeping up his neck.

“Captain obvious, use your fuckin' height advantage and grab that” Mickey pointed to the wall. The redhead looked from Mickey to the display and back. “Umm grab what? There's a wall full of items.” Mickey was flustered and getting more irritated with the redhead's lack of brain cells. He sighed in exasperation pinching the bridge of his nose with his thumb and pointer finger. “Stay pretty, OK red?” Mickey turned to the wall and reached into his pocket for his switch blade. Mickey removed the blade with precision and speed in one motion raising it above his head. He then jumped and used the blade portion to give him the extra inches he needed, removing the plastic packaging from its hook. While freeing the out of reach package, which was now falling mid air; the lanky redhead used what Mickey perceived to be his abnormally long yet muscled arms to grab the package before Mickey could get to it.

“Anal beads.” He said in a flat non judgmental tone.

“You got a problem with that?” Retorted Mickey snatching the package out of red's hand. “I'm not the perve working in a sex shop.” Mickey wanted to kick himself for calling the creature in front of him a perve, now he'd never put a name to that beautiful face or body. But who was this guy? Creeping up on people while they were buying such intimate shit. He wasn't looking for the customer service experience at a sex shop.

The redhead chuckled stepping back. “Liking what you like don't make you a bitch, am I right?” He looked at the dark haired man for a moment longer than he would give anyone else and started to retreat to the aisle where he was restocking edible panties. Mickey stood there processing the whole encounter. He wanted to continue this banter but the moment was escaping him as quickly as it presented itself. Before he could filter the next outburst it was already out of his mouth. “Aye, red got anything to go with this?” Mickey bit his lip and shifted his eyes. What. The. Fuck. _Got anything to go with this_? Like this is some fuckin combo meal and you can look for a side substitution. There goes the whole customer service theory. Either red was going to laugh him to the counter or actually help him and either situation seemed utterly mortifying at this point.

Red looked back at the blue eyed man, standing there looking like a deer in headlights. “Well, we did just get a new lube in” he began. “It's supposed to be the ‘it’ item of 2017, changing the lube game I guess.”

Mickey started to follow red to a different aisle. “Aye, ain't you got a name tag or some shit?”

Red stopped, turned to face Mickey and said “Well, this isn't exactly Wal-Mart” he hesitated debating if he should give his real name or a made up one which he was using if other customers had the nerve to ask. “My name is Ian, but thanks for the ever so original nickname you've been using.”

Finally. A name. Mickey was already committing it to muscle memory as he quietly let it flick off his tongue. Ian was something to look at, and he obviously held his own when it came to shit talking. Mickey liked how they threw jabs back and forth without worrying if the other was taking offence. “So, Ian, you gonna show me this lube or what?”

Ian bent down exposing some of his lower back to get the lube. Mickey couldn't help but sneak a peek at the exposed skin. Ian shot back up though ending the show. “Here you go, Whoredini. So good it's magic.” Ian added a little jazz hand to emphasize magic and Mickey busted out laughing.

“Alright, take it easy there Magic Mike.” Taking the lube from Ian's grasp Mickey briefly brushed against Ian's fingers. The charge of the minuscule touch was apparent as Ian dropped his eyes to his now empty hand and started to rub the back of his neck with his other hand. “Magic Mike, huh? Caught my performance at the White Swallow?”

Mickey let those words register. Ian. White Swallow. He bit his lip again, that flush creeping back up his neck.

Ian realized he assumed too much and quickly tried to backtrack. No way was this guy ever stepping foot in a gay club, he wasn't even sure if he was gay. Probably not. Mickey wasn't exactly exuding any vibes that he was a friend of Dorothy. “Yeah, so your girlfriend can take it like a champ, huh? Hard to find a good bottom.” Ian said tapping the anal beads grinning. Again Ian felt like inserting his foot in his mouth. _Take it like a champ? I just basically called his girlfriend an ass slut_. Now Ian was turning red. He needed to get away from this guy before things escalated.

Mickey was equally as crimson as Ian. That “champ” happened to be him. This was not his first pair of anal beads, he was introduced to them while with a regular guy he fucked on the down low many years ago. It was the first time he let his guard down and allowed himself to experiment. Allowed himself to bottom without shame. While the guy was inconsequential in the long run, what Mickey did take away was that as hard as his exterior persona was he was a through and through bottom. Now, to get that feeling, beads were the safe way to go. No one would be the wiser if they came across them in his room. It was a sure fire way to please himself the way he wanted without the speculation of being gay. “Yeah, right.” Mickey fumbled with the extra large anal beads and started towards the counter.

Ian followed Mickey and swung behind the counter. He started to ring up the items, his time with the blue eyed stranger was coming to an end. He had to think of something fast. “In a month the next stage is coming out. Of the anal beads, I mean. If you've worked your way up to the next level I mean. I can out, I mean put your name on the list if you want me to set it aside for you.”

Here was the moment of truth. Did Mickey want Ian to know who he was? “Yeah, sure sounds good, names Mickey.” And there it was. Now both men could obsess over a name and an appearance for the next 30 days. Ian was beaming, his not so clever way of finding out this guys name. “Well Mickey, your total is fifty-two dollars even.” Mickey dug into his pockets flipping through his cash and extended the money to Ian. Ian took the money brushing his fingers against Mickey's and there again was that charge. Ian went to the register retrieved Mickey's change and placed it in Mickey's hand, again making contact, letting his fingertips graze Mickey's wrist. Both men just stared at each other before Mickey found his legs beginning to move towards the door. His head was somewhere else though. As soon as he hit the street Mickey ran home excited to use his new toy and fantasize about Ian giving it to him.

Mickey got home and the house was empty. Mandy was off at work, Iggy was staying with some friends out of town, and Terry-- his nightmare of a father-- was back in jail so there wasn’t anyone else to account for. Mickey went straight to his bedroom and emptied the anal beads and lube onto his bed. He opened the packaging and took the anal beads to the bathroom giving them a good wash before they were about to be soiled. Now that everything was assembled, Mickey kicked off his shoes and unbuckled his jeans letting them fall to his ankles and stepped out of them. He removed his tank top and was standing in his boxer shorts. The mix of anticipation and excitement was already making him feel a sort of euphoria. There was something to having a secret, one that could make or break a person. The secret felt precious and naughty, it was Mickey’s constant struggle giving into his pleasure yet keeping it tucked neatly away.

Mickey usually rushed his masturbating, mostly because he never knew if someone was going to be busting into his room at any given moment and his tastes weren’t even on the map of being tolerated by his family. He had a quick get in and get out approach that got the job done and that’s all that mattered right? But today, he had the luxury to take his time. Thank g-d for that because there was a certain redhead that was going to bring him over the edge. Mickey held the beads threading them through his fingers. They were cool, smooth, and it was going to hurt. These were much bigger than his last pair-- they looked like a fucking rosary for giants-- and at the idea Mickey clenched his ass cheeks together. Once the beads were more in line with Mickey’s body temperature he cracked open the lube which began to ooze. He felt the silkiness of the lube between his fingers and he was immediately impressed. This shit _was_ going to  change the lube game, and he thought of Ian using jazz hands, now thinking it was totally called for. Mickey climbed out of his boxers, his dick becoming stiffer at the thought of Ian back at the shop and hopped onto his bed. He stroked his hardening cock, grasping it in his hand applying the right amount of pressure, creating the right amount of friction, that a slow heat was building in his groin. Mickey closed his eyes and Ian was conjured in front of him. Tall ass motherfucker, with his long legs and strong arms which Mickey envisioned pulling him closer. Mickey’s dick started to drip with pre-cum pooling at the head. Mickey took his other hand which was slicked with the Whoredini and started to scissor his asshole with two fingers. The pressure of his two fingers working the rim of his asshole in and out made Mickey’s breath hitch in his throat. Ian’s image now flipped Mickey so he was face down on his bed. His fingers working Mickey’s hole the way he liked. He envisioned those long fingers and how they’d hit his prostate in seconds. Mickey now used three fingers to massage his hole teasing him and then entering him. He repeated this delicately hooking his finger at the insertion causing his hips to buck. Mickey’s fingers were on a down stroke of his leaking cock and he imagined Ian running the tip of his tongue from the base of his rock hard erection to the tip lapping up the precum and giving him a devilish grin. Mickey wasn’t running out of wicked things he wanted Ian to do to him. Feeling fully prepped Mickey inserted the first lubed bead and his ass swallowed it no problem. Mickey then pushed the second bead through and he could feel the pressure building ever so slightly. A third and fourth bead entered each bead slightly bigger than the one before. Mickey was practically panting now. The pleasure demanding to be felt from both his swollen cock and his prostate which was now being pressed on hard, the unrelenting beads filling up the space in his ass. Mickey hadn’t felt this full since an actual cock was in his ass. He then reverted back to Ian and he imagined how amazing it must feel to have that body on top of his. Pounding him into the already shaky bed. He was letting his head fall back onto the pillow grunting in satisfaction and he was about to reach his peak. Feeling his body tremble, Mickey pulled out the first bead slowly. He twisted the second bead as it popped out and with each released bead he felt it brush against the inner walls of his delicious ass, ghost over his prostate and finally pass through his hole. When the beads were finally out except for the last one Mickey knew he was close to shooting a hot load all over himself. He quickened his pace on his throbbing cock and twisted and pulled the last bead out simultaneously emptying out streams of cum all over his stomach, all over his upper thighs and even got some on the wall. He was sated in a way he hadn’t been before and could care less about the clean up. His belly was warm, breathing still rapid and a calm set over him. He smiled to himself not wanting to forget this intoxicating feeling that had washed over him. He refused to move from his current position until he felt that he was capable of brain function. It took a few minutes but the ecstasy was beginning to subside and reality was sinking in. Mickey groaned as he grabbed his boxers to clean himself up. He threw his soiled boxers in the hamper to the side of his bed. He forced himself to get up and take the beads to the bathroom to be cleaned and then hid them away along with the other toys he had acquired. Mickey flopped back onto his bed still naked and passed out.

Ian was still working in the shop, he was doodling around Mickey’s name hearts with penis shaped arrows. It hadn’t occurred to Ian that in 30 days Mickey would hopefully be walking into the shop to find out that a new size of anal beads wouldn’t be available. What was he gonna do now? “ _Fuck me and my stupid mouth_ ” he thought. But the fact that he lied about a product was short lived because Ian got caught up in the blue of Mickey’s eyes and the saunter that Mickey had. He had to find out more about this guy, and he couldn’t wait 30 days. Sure Ian didn’t know about Mickey’s orientation but that didn’t mean he couldn’t enjoy Mickey visually. Ian did what any young person would do and checked to see if Mickey had a facebook. He opened up the search bar and typed

_Mickey + Chicago + 22_

Ian waited for the repeating circle to spit back some results. The age was a guestimate at best, but how many Mickey’s in Chicago could there be? Apparently there were a few. Ian didn’t have much to go on. His last option was to ask Leo, the guy who owned and ran the shop before Ian started helping out part time. He walked to the back of the shop where Leo was fixing to put in next month’s orders. “Hey Leo, I got a question for you” Ian started nonchalantly “There was a guy in here a few hours ago. Short, but solid guy. Had the bluest eyes I’d ever seen. Fair skin and raven colored hair.” Ian was starting to loose focus painting this picture and Leo could tell. Ian had a grin that was from ear to ear mentioning this mystery man. Leo’s laugh broke Ian’s reverie. “You mean Mickey?” Ian’s bottom jaw seemed to disconnect from his body. Leo continued “he’s been coming here for years. Remember selling him his first dirty magazine.” Leo pushed the various ordering sheets and books away and turned to Ian completely. “Good guy that Mickey, no matter how long he’s been coming here though he’s always gotta work up the courage to come in here.” Leo’s eyes clouded over lost in his own thoughts of Mickey. Ian could tell there was more than just a customer relationship there. Leo obviously cared for the young man, enough to notice subtle quirks. Ian wanted to know these quirks, to know the feel of Mickey’s touch, but above all just to be in the presence of him--- because there was something to be said about the nervous yet adorable fighter spirit that Mickey exuded. “Do you know anything else about him?” asked Ian. Leo looked at Ian and became serious. “Ian I like you, a lot. You’ve been a big help in the store the last few weeks. Actually I think you’re bringing new blood in here” Leo said as he patted the desk. “But you can’t fall for every tall or in this case short, dark and handsome that walks in here. Trust me, I’ve been there.” Leo grabbed Ian’s hand and squeezed it to emphasize his point. “I opened this store in the 1976, everything was still free love back then but it turned quickly, especially for people like you and me. All the guys I considered my friends well some of those so called friends smashed up my store front. Some of them spread rumors that my shop was the reason for the AIDS break out, a handful were true and I’ll never turn on those who were loyal, but the rest of those fucks?” Leo shook his head and looked up at Ian resolved to get his new employee not to mix business with pleasure. “Ian I can’t tell you more than I already know. Mickey comes in every month or so looking for mostly butt play items. He’s not really accepting of his sexuality or curiosities otherwise he wouldn’t come back as often as he does. Don’t go down this path Ian, don’t mix your personal feelings with business. We face enough roadblocks, don’t get tangled up.” Leo turned to go back to his desk busying himself with order forms.

Ian walked out of the back office dejected. He knew Leo meant well, out of all the older men Ian came across Leo was one guy who he looked up. Even if it was a short time they’d known each other. Leo gave him this job not expecting anything in return but a good worker. Not like Kash who would fuck him while his wife and kids were upstairs. Not like Ned who would only do quid pro quo for Ian. Not like any of the horney assholes at the White Swallow who used him, as if he was just here to be ogled and disregarded. Leo’s words hurt but they were probably true. As Ian took a seat at the counter feeling sorry for himself, the front door opened, bells jangling in response. Ian didn’t bother to look up, he couldn’t fake it with another customer right now, his level of bullshit was spent. That’s when he saw tattooed hands on his counter and Ian’s head shot up. “Aye, where’s that Whoredini shit again? You were right, it’s fuckin’ magic!”


	2. Switch Engaged

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again to my dear Marcie for your guidance.

And so it went like this for the next couple of weeks. Ian would work the counter at the sex shop and like clockwork Mickey would come in once a week at 4:30 PM. The first week he came back saying that he needed a butt plug. Ian showed him to a small display that had all sorts of butt plugs. Ian wondered out loud “why there was so many options.” But Mickey looked at him like he was crazy. “Are you sure you should be workin’ in a sex shop man?” Mickey asked. ”Of course there’s a fuckin’ difference” he told Ian. 

Ian gave Mickey a sideways glance, sceptical about the differences. Mickey just looked at him dumbfounded. 

“Seriously? Can’t sell shit you haven’t tried.” Said Mickey shaking his head.

Ian began to protest but Mickey had a point. In all the years he’d been with men, Ian hadn’t bottomed. He was always the one setting the pace, being dominant. He never thought about being the one taking good dick, and there was plenty of good dick out there. Ian was one of them. How could he deprive a guy of good dick? How could Ian stop something he was good at. 

Mickey had started a tirade on girth, length, and went into detail on the crevices on one butt plug vs another. Ian was certain that Mickey had never been so candid about anal play before, but when Mickey got started his passion for ass play took over. Mickey was as queer as they came even if he didn’t want to admit it outright. 

“You ain’t gonna sell a beginner this shit” Mickey commented waving a large purple butt plug that was the size of Ian’s forearm. “Shit whoever takes that should get a medal.” Mickey inspected the purple butt plug sizing it up and Ian could feel himself hardening, imagining the dark haired boy with his creamy ass lowering himself on the purple butt plug. Inch by inch the purple disappeared and Mickey would wince every so often but from pleasure not pain. 

Ian was getting lost in the image when he heard the thud and felt the cold rubber hit him in the face. Ian snapped back and looked at Mickey incredulously “Did you just fucking hit me with a butt plug?” Ian’s voice came out an octave higher than normal and Mickey lost his shit dying of laughter. Once Mickey could breathe he knew he was in for it and he ducked out of the aisle that once displayed the various plugs. 

Ian was quick to corner him by the female vibrators and lunged for Mickey but Mickey was quick. What he lacked in height he made up for in speed. Leo stepped onto the floor from the back. Despite the advice he gave Ian he could see that the boy’s resolve was nothing compared to the excitement that is young love. “Boys, do stop wrecking the store.”  

Ian and Mickey called a truce, they headed to the counter and Ian rang up Mickey. He had chosen earlier a red, decently sized both in length wise and width plug, it was pudgy as all hell. Ian thought about his own member and if Mickey could handle it. Of course he could, he was fuckin’ Mickey Milkovich and he’d make Ian’s cock his bitch thought Ian shaking his head. 

The next few weeks followed suit, Mickey picked up more supplies. He’d give Ian a rough time, or a review of a toy, or shoot the shit with him, but he kept coming back. It didn’t go unnoticed to either Ian or Leo. Week after week the two younger men would flirt or as much as Mickey could muster. Finally Ian had ruined enough boxer shorts after a visit from Mickey that he couldn’t stand it. 

“Mickey, do you wanna grab a beer?” Ian offered, as he was locking up the shop. The taller man barely had to reach for the pull down gate that would defend the shop overnight from nefarious horny criminals looking to get their rocks off. Mickey could use a beer, but to be honest he was getting drunk taking in the sight of Ian’s well toned arms working the gate. The way that the fitted green t-shirt clung to Ian’s body. Ian turned to face Mickey and repeated his question. “Mick? Did you hear me?” Ian knew he shouldn’t have pushed whatever was going on between he and Mickey. Maybe it was too soon. “Yeah Gallagher, beer sounds good.” 

The two men joked around, playfully pushing one another off the sidewalk while walking to a nearby bar. Each taking shots at one one another finding out their boundaries and ebbing them further and further. They didn’t notice that there was someone lurking behind them, cause after all, this was the South Side and everyone was a little shadier, a little off the cuff. 

Without warning the stranger swooped in behind Mickey knocking him over the head sending the brunette to the ground. Ian didn’t have a chance to comprehend what had just happened. The stranger turned on him and a ferocious punch connected with Ian’s jaw. Mickey was back on his feet and saw Ian’s beautiful face begin to turn shades of yellow and purple where the fist made contact. “Motherfucker!” yelled Mickey jumping onto the back of the hooded figure. Mickey’s retaliation was quickly squandered when his back was slammed against the brick wall. 

Ian regained his balance and saw that Mickey was pinned against the wall and Ian saw red. It was as if something bigger than himself took over. Ian straightened himself up  to his full height, squared his shoulders and charged. Mickey saw Ian coming at him full steam ahead. In the middle of this assault Mickey saw a different side of Ian than he’d ever imagined. Ian placed a large hand on the man’s shoulder whipping him around so they were face to face. Mickey was released and scrambled out of the way as Ian who was clearly now more dominant and mercilessly laying into the man non stop. Blow after blow. The once all goofy smiles, and puppy dog eyed ginger was now darker and menacing. Grunt after grunt; the attacker turned victim, was now curled up on the floor trying to shield himself. Ian wasn’t letting up, he felt a hand on his shoulder and another arm around his waist uprooting him from where his feet were planted. 

Ian’s first reaction was to keep swinging but when he saw that the hand donned a familiar ‘U-UP’ tattoo across the knuckles and he felt a smaller yet solid frame pressed against his back, Ian’s rage began to subside. He was breathing hard and let Mickey pull him away from the hunched man on the floor. Finally Mickey turned Ian around and let him go. He stared into those green eyes that were becoming less clouded with each second and regaining the jubilant expression. They had to get off the street and away from the scene so Mickey grabbed Ian’s hand and briskly took off. Ian’s grip on the man’s hand sent a different charge through him and he let Mickey take the lead.

The two went on for blocks and blocks with Mickey leading Ian, their connection unbroken. They finally arrived at a little bookstore that also served coffee and baked goods. Mickey swung the door open and beelined for a small booth in the back. Mickey dragged Ian into the booth, they sat opposite each other in silence. Ian was in total disbelief, this is not where he thought they’d end up. He was hoping a few beers would loosen them up, and maybe just maybe he’d get to palm Mickey in a back ally. Instead they were surrounded by the smell of coffee and cinnamon wafting through the air and the sound of crinkling pages and smooth jazz. Who would break the silence first. Ian who usually couldn’t shut the fuck up was tight lipped. Mickey couldn’t stand it and let out an exasperated sigh running his hand through his hair. 

“Fuckin’ Hulk over here” said Mickey rolling his eyes and checking Ian again for additional bruising now that they were in better lighting. 

Ian let out a big laugh, relaxing back into his seat. “Saved your ass didn’t I?” his eyes were no longer exuding any danger. 

Mickey puffed his chest out “I could’ve handled him.”

Ian didn’t doubt Mickey’s fighting style, but things ended a lot quicker with Gallagher in the fight. “Yeah, you could of” scoffed Ian “but can you handle me?” Ian quickly regretted his words, the adrenaline still coursing through his veins made him cockier, impervious to rejection but not embarrassment.

Mickey looked at Ian across the table. While the fight itself wasn’t terrifying, when Ian was in kill switch engaged mode all bets were off. Mickey was stunned-- he didn’t think Ian had it in him but, he’d be lying if he denied that at Ian’s first punch Mickey didn’t feel his dick swell and begin to pulse. “I can handle  _ you _ Ian Gallagher” Mickey shot back as he wiped his thumb across his bottom lip not daring to break eye contact. 

Ian didn’t need any more of a green light. He reached across the table and laid a hand on Mickey’s. Without looking for approval, under the table, Ian’s foot began rubbing Mickey’s leg. The realization that Ian needed to touch Mickey in every possible way was screaming in his head. Mickey’s eyes fluttered before he cleared his throat. “Not here, red” strained Mickey’s voice. Ian didn’t let up though. 

“Where?” Ian replied his voice dripping with want.

_ ‘Oh _ .  _ Shit _ .’ thought Mickey as he swallowed hard, his mind going blank. It was hard for him to concentrate on anything but where Ian’s touch was burning into his skin. Ian didn’t wait for a reply. He stood up quickly. “This is a nice place” he said “you’re going to have to take me back here another time though.” He started to walk towards the door and glanced over his shoulder to see if Mickey was following. “You coming?” questioned Ian. Mickey shot out of the booth and was on Ian’s heels. “In more ways than one Gallagher” retorted Mickey as they exited the book store.  

While Ian was hoping to be tender with Mickey should he ever have found themselves about to cross into lovers territory, tonight’s predicament just didn’t fit the bill. Within minutes of exiting the bookstore Ian engulfed Mickey in a passionate kiss. Ian’s expert tongue explored Mickey’s mouth while his hands left Mickey shaking. Desire radiated from Ian’s fingers, poured from his mouth and pounded in his chest. Mickey welcomed the heat washing over him and matched Ian’s desperate yearning to physically connect. They ducked into an empty alley, Ian was relentlessly working his mouth on Mickey’s exposed neck and working the buckle on Mickey’s pants. Mickey sucked in air as Ian grabbed onto Mickey’s cock which was at full attention as Ian began to jerk him off, slowly letting the pad of his thumb circle the head of Mickey’s dick. The circling motion cause droplets of precum to pool at the tip. Mickey moaned into Ian’s hair allowing himself to get lost in his sent, the cool brick roughed up against his plump ass cheeks. 

Ian hotly whispered into Mickey’s neck “wanted to do this since I met you” not letting up on Mickey’s cock. Ian dropped his other hand and squeezed Mickey’s perfect ass before he began massaging the outer ring of Mickey’s hole. Ian’s thumb on Mickey’s cock was going clockwise while the fingers massaging Mickey’s hole worked counter clockwise. There was no way for Mickey to focus on one sensation alone. It had been some time since he was fucked by another man and even longer since he was the recipient of such intense foreplay. All the toys in the world couldn’t make up for the real thing. 

Ian kept brushing the pre cum up Mickey’s ass crack and Mickey kept responding to each pump. “I wanna taste you” said Ian and he was on his knees swallowing inch by inch of Mickey’s thickness. 

“Shiiiit” groaned out Mickey “aww fuck red, I’m fuckin’ close” panted Mickey. 

Ian slowed his pace. He wasn’t ready for Mickey to explode he wanted to take his time pleasuring Mickey and giving him the attention he deserved. Ian squeezed Mickey’s balls as he lapped at the tip. “Not even close to being done with you Mic.” 

Mickey shuddered his orgasm edging towards the point of no return but he held back. Whatever Ian had planned Mickey wanted in. Ian turned Mickey around his ass was red from the brick and from Ian’s fingerprints. Ian spread his ass cheeks apart and began to lick at the perineum all the way up to the Mickey’s well worked hole. Mickey’s flesh was salty and Ian loved the way Mickey jutted his ass up with each lick. Ian could feel himself starting to loose control and knew that no amount of time exploring Mickey would be enough to satiate his appetite. A kneeling Ian looked up at Mickey who was completely blissed out. Mickey looked down at Ian at the same exact moment and he didn’t need to tell him that he was ready. 

Ian undid his own pants and pulled them down with his boxers in one swoop. He ripped open a condom packet and unrolled it onto his impressive girth. Mickey wanted to revel in the moment of seeing Ian Gallagher exposed, but he needed his dick even more and he braced his palms on the brick wall ready to be destroyed by the red head. Ian brushed his cock against Mickey’s ass, the anticipation bouncing off each other. Ian placed a featherlight kiss on Mickey’s shoulder which threw Mickey for a loop but in the next instance Ian slammed his rock hard dick into Mickey. Ian thrusted and Mickey met each thrust by rocking his hips back into Ian. Mickey felt amazing. Ian felt the warmth of Mickey engulfing him. They found their rhythm and Ian made a mental note of each moan and sigh that escaped. Filing away what Mickey liked and made Ian’s toes curl. Ian hit Mickey’s prostate relentlessly causing him to stutter. “Together” Ian directed Mickey and he just lazily nodded his head. Within seconds both men released their load, the tension lifting off their shoulders. Ian pulled out slowly relishing in the pleasure that Mickey was unsteady and required support from Ian to stay upright. 

Mickey’s jello legs betrayed him, he was fucking wrecked and Ian wasn’t fairing any better, even if he could stand. Mickey leaned against the wall letting his head rest as he pulled up his pants. “Gallagher, you’re a twisted motherfucker” he said with a smile. Ian took the compliment and pulled up his own pants after discarding the condom. 

“Still want that beer?” Ian said as he smiled down at Mickey. The two exited the alley not ready to end their evening.


	3. DNA

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ian and Mickey both wonder if what's going on between them is real after Mickey avoids Ian for weeks. But when they finally come face to face there's no denying it. This is for keeps. This is forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all of the feedback received on this work. I hope this chapter doesn't disappoint. Thank you to my Marcie who has been there encouraging me. Some of this dialog is personal and happened IRL conversations. It meant a lot to me and I thought it was parallel to what Ian and Mickey were going though. Enjoy!

Ian was at the shop restocking some new product at the back of the store. He looked at his watch and it was 5:00. It had been weeks since Mickey came into the shop. Weeks since they fucked. Ian dutifully went back to stocking as Leo was at the register helping their only customer of the afternoon. As soon as the customer was out the door Leo floated over to Ian. 

 

“Why don’t you cut out early Ian, you look,” Leo gracefully waved his hand in front of Ian’s unkempt appearance finally resting his pointer finger on his bottom lip, “tired.” Ian knew what he looked like and tired wasn’t it. 

 

“There’s a few more hours left in my shift. I don’t mind” replied Ian as he went back to stocking. Leo took a moment before addressing Ian again. “Honey, he isn’t coming in today. Just like he didn’t come in yesterday, or the day before that.” Leo rested a hand on Ian’s shoulder before continuing. “Why don’t you try going for a run? Didn’t you say you liked physical exertion?” Ian only rolled his eyes, the only exertion he was capable of was mentally; replaying Mickey’s superior bottoming skills, analyzing the beers they shared afterwards and the warm goodbye that followed. It all seemed steps in the right direction. It all seemed normal. So what the fuck happened? 

 

*********

 

Mickey was bent over, his boxers at his ankles and his knees hitting the cold metal of the bar stool. A lanky blonde was behind him doing his best to pound Mickey’s ass but failing miserably. “Take that Mickey!” screamed the blonde in his best attempt to sound in control. Mickey almost choked on his laughter.  _ “Take that?” _ Who did this guy think he was? The fucking Pirate of Penzance, thought Mickey, he had enough of this shit. He pushed the stool away and grabbed for his boxers and jeans in one quick motion. Mickey felt the burn of the blonde’s cock aggressively exiting his asshole. It was messy and semi painful but the blonde’s cock wasn’t all that big and it wasn’t worth the effort to keep fucking if Mickey wasn’t going to cum any time soon. The blonde protested and was having a hissy fit. “What the fuck! Why.. I’ve never!” sputtered the blonde. But Mickey could careless. He was already at the door and screamed over his shoulder “Man up cupcake! Learn how to fuck!” and left the apartment.

 

Mickey didn’t bother to wait for the elevator. He just took the stairs down the six story building. Descending each floor he felt the uncomfortable pinch in his ass and the frustration that had built up in his groin. Blondie did nothing to quench the latter which made Mickey even more pissed off. Mickey knew it wasn’t really blondie’s fault though. A certain redhead had entered his life unexpectedly and consumed him completely.

As Mickey hit the street, he resigned himself to the fact that fucking Ian had ruined any potential fuck in his future. He couldn’t go back to his tired but true toys, and he couldn’t just chase any dick. Neither one was going to cut it. How could one night screw with him so badly? “Fuck you Ian Gallagher” Mickey muttered under his breath, and as if he was on autopilot Mickey’s steps were taking him in the direction of the sex shop. 

 

Mickey arrived outside of the shop 15 minutes later. He hesitated going in, loitering a few storefronts down, smoking like a chimney. At this rate Mickey should put himself on the donor list for a new set of lungs the way he was smoking. Ian would be in there, probably doing some stupid shit, or selling some queen something to get his rocks off to. He didn’t know what to expect honestly. Mickey had been a prick avoiding the shop and Ian over the last few weeks. He wasn’t sure if Ian was going to be excited to see him or write him off as a quickie. Did Ian feel the connection that Mickey felt or was it in his head?  _ “Get your shit together Milkovich” _ he’d never been this twisted over dick, and it didn’t sit well with him.  As if fate heard him Ian walked out of the shop. Mickey quickly ducked behind a nearby mailbox. His back was against the cold steel  _ “Shit. SHIT. Did he see me? _ Mickey extended his neck out enough to see that Ian hadn’t spotted him and was walking in the opposite direction. “Ian wasn’t supposed to be getting off of work for another 2 hours. Did he get canned?” thought Mickey. “Get a grip dumbass.” He started to follow Ian, keeping a good distance so as not to be caught. It wasn’t long before Mickey realized Ian was walking into the bookstore that they conveniently banged at. Of all the places Ian chose to frequent why did it have to be here. Mickey steeled himself and walked inside.

 

Ian was standing by the graphic novels section looking over the latest copy of “The Walking Dead”, of course Red had no literary taste. The TV show was cool as far as Mickey knew, not having cable or anything, but good literature didn’t need the illustrations. The words would convey the message. Mickey had to break the ice somehow so he jumped right in “If you’re going to read something why don’t you pick up a real book firecrotch?” 

 

Ian’s head snapped up at the sound of Mickey’s voice, his lips parted and his breath hitched. Mickey wasn’t sure if he had read everything all wrong, cause Ian just looked at him in disbelief. Mickey’s eyes darted from side to side unable to take in Ian’s expression. He chewed on his bottom lip feeling the pressure from his teeth and waited what felt like ages for Ian to respond. “What the fuck you lookin’ at?” Mickey finally said getting defensive. 

 

Ian stammered “Nothing” quickly and put the graphic novel down. “You obviously have something in mind to suggest” said Ian as he shrugged his shoulders, reaching for nonchalance but missing the mark. Before Ian could register, Mickey took him by the hand and lead him to a table not to far off. As soon as they touched, Ian felt brought back to life. Without Mickey things seemed dulled, muted, lifeless. But the second Mickey came back into focus, the haze was lifted and his touch revitalized Ian wholly.

 

Mickey cleared his throat and waved a hand over the table. “This is what I suggest.” Ian looked from Mickey to the table which had about 15 or so different books on display. There was a small sign that read “Staff Picks: Mickey’s Recommendations.” Ian’s brain was making the connections and his face couldn’t hide it’s amusement. “You work here?” Ian said incredulously, the thought of Mickey being this poetic tortured soul with a dash of bad boy made Ian’s dick salivate.  

 

Mickey rubbed his thumb on his nose, and looked at the ground. “Just cause you’re attention span is tied directly to your dick don’t mean you can’t read a classic Gallagher.” Mickey looked up with a smirk on his face.

 

Ian thought to himself  _ “G-d he’s so fucking hot” _ he could feel himself getting dizzy off of the brunettes smile. Mickey motioned for the two of them to head to the cafe portion of the store. They took their seat at the same booth they sat the first time they were here. The nervous energy was bouncing between them like a pinball. Neither one knew what their next move was. Ian’s leg kept bouncing up and down and at a rapid pace and Mickey kept reaching for his cigarettes, patting his pocket and then rolling his shoulders when he remembered he couldn’t light up. 

 

Mickey broke the silence first. “Look, sorry I’ve been ghost the last few weeks.” He dipped his head thinking about the various guys he fucked in an attempt to get rid of Ian Gallagher. Blondie was the last in a string of hook ups that epically failed and brought Mickey to the realization that Ian Gallagher, in record breaking time had entered his life like a comet. Speeding towards Mickey’s heart, he desperately tried to run from the impending crash, but to no avail. So now Mickey had a decision. To put off what was inevitably going to happen or to brace himself for the impact.

 

“Hesitancy is in my DNA, I’m used to being built up and then broken down-- repeatedly-- in different ways, from everyone in my life.” Mickey looked up staring into the mesmerized green eyes across the table, eyes that reflected worry and an urgency to drink Mickey in as if he was going to run again. Mickey took a deep breath, what he’d just confessed wasn’t a lie, but he hadn’t been this honest with anyone -- ever -- and it was taking him by surprise. The layers of self preservation were peeling like an onion, one by one revealing a softer more vulnerable Mickey. 

 

Ian was melting with each word. Who ever hurt Mickey, he wanted them gone. Whatever past issues plaguing him, Ian would make sure didn’t happen from today forward. Ian brought his hand to lay on top of Mickey’s. He felt the man opposite him flinch initially but then relax. The strong but caring hand entwined with Ian’s. They sat there for a while just talking. Old flames, first crushes, their perspective families fuckup’s and the South Side stigma being stripped with each admission. Mickey and Ian knew that this was the beginning of something real. After several hours Ian looked at Mickey and asked him if they could go somewhere. Mickey nodded and Ian followed him out of the bookstore.  

 

They arrived at Mickey’s apartment which he shared with his sister Mandy. Mickey unlocked the door, entered the apartment and threw his keys on the entryway table. “Yo, Mandy, you home?” bellowed Mickey to make sure the coast was clear. There was no answer so Ian stepped inside closing the door behind him. 

 

“So this is casa de Milkovich” Ian said curiously,  removing his coat. 

 

Mickey pointed to the door that led to his room “That’s me.” He pointed to a door opposite his “That’s Mandy’s and bathrooms at the end of the hall.” Mickey wasn’t sure what was going to happen next. He wasn’t in the habit of bringing guys back to his place. Normally his hookups were quick and he was in control of the situation. However standing in his own living room he couldn’t help but feel out of place. 

 

Ian could sense that Mickey was jittery it was practically buzzing off of him. Mickey shifted his weight from one foot to the other, his shoulders had tensed up and he started biting his lip which revved Ian up. “Grab some beers and I’ll meet you in the bedroom” directed Ian. Mickey suspiciously looked at Ian but acquiesced heading to the fridge. Ian made his way to the bathroom and closed the door behind him. He leaned on the bathroom door closing his eyes and took a deep breath.  _ “Reign it in Gallagher” _ he thought. He moved to the vanity gripping the edge of the sink and examined himself in the mirror.  _ “He’s not going to run this time.” _  Ian turned on the cold water and splashed it on his face. He still wasn’t feeling prepared to give himself to the handsome man waiting in the bedroom only a few feet away. Ian saw Listerine and decided it couldn’t hurt so he took a healthy amount into his mouth and swished it around his cheeks and under his tongue, the familiar burn settling his apprehension. Ian spotted some fancy massage oil and he made sure to grab the bottle after he spit the foamy blue liquid from his mouth. 

 

Ian entered Mickey’s bedroom, it was surprisingly inviting. There was a stereo in the corner hooked up to a record player, a twin size bed, three bookcases filled with books that looked worn and then some, and a desk that looked out the only window in the room. Mickey was standing near his record collection trying to find something to listen to; bathed in the moonlight filtering in through the window. His gaze in Ian’s direction caused the redheads chest to constrict and a tingle in his lower belly that creeped its way through his whole body. Ian steadied himself and crossed the room to meet Mickey. He wrapped his arms around Mickey’s waist pulling him closer. Ian dipped his head into the crook of Mickey’s neck and brushed his nose on the neckline of his t-shirt breathing in his scent. Ian was getting lightheaded having the man he’d been patiently waiting for all to himself. Patience wasn’t something usually associated with Ian Gallagher but he was willing to let Mickey set the pace.

 

Mickey allowed himself to stop thinking and let Ian wash over him. He swayed from the weight of the tall redhead now resting on his shoulder and placed a featherlight kiss on the temple of his head. They inched closer and closer to the bed and when the back of Mickey’s knees hit the edge of the bed Ian whispered in his ear “I’m going to take care of you, mmhmm?” Mickey was never taken care of and the words were foreign to him but he just nodded and Ian lowered Mickey onto the bed. Ian removed his shirt exposing his well defined abs and well cut arms. Mickey didn’t get this view the first time and it was a damn shame that he missed it. He reached out a hand to run down Ian’s obliques. Ian felt ticklish at Mickey’s touch. The lite laughter that was escaping his lips reached his eyes and Mickey knew that this was the most beautiful thing he was ever going to see. He reached for his phone and snapped a quick picture. 

 

“Did you just take a picture of me?” asked Ian. “You know a picture from that angle is usually really unflattering, trying to downgrade me?” Ian’s chin jutted out and his eyebrows arched, he went from playful to mischievous instantaneously but there was no real threat and Mickey knew it. He didn’t know it was possible for him to fall in love with Ian’s features over and over again but he was. 

 

“You don’t have a bad angle, fuckin’ prince charming over here”, Mickey joked, but there was more than a bit of truth to it.

 

Ian didn’t hesitate he cupped the back of Mickey’s neck with one hand and pulled those piercing blue eyes closer to him, their lips were mere inches apart. Ian’s tongue stretched out and he traced the top of Mickey’s lip. He then gently bit on Mickey’s full lower lip before lightly sucking it into his mouth. Ian’s very apparent hard on was straining against his boxers and he grinded his hard on against Mickey’s thigh. Mickey’s back arched into Ian’s body deepening the physical connection between both men. Ian pulled away breathless staring straight into Mickey’s soul. He nudged the man beneath him to roll over. Mickey flipped over not sure what to expect, Ian lifted Mickey’s shirt and squeezed some of the massage oil onto his alabaster skin. Ian began to spread the oil with his large hands, working the kinks deep in Mickey’s neck and shoulders. Mickey felt himself sinking into the mattress the stress that Mickey bottled up and was unaware of evaporated at Ian’s touch. 

 

“Mmmhmm, damn Gallagher is there anything you’re not good at” said Mickey contently. His body felt pliable; free, a feeling he hadn’t felt before. Ian placed kisses down Mickey’s back to the edge of Mickey’s jeans. He tugged at the stiff fabric with his hands “These need to come off. Now.” 

 

Ian and Mickey were quickly down to their boxers, Mickey laying on his stomach with heightened anticipation. Was Ian just going to plough into him like their first time? Mickey relished the thought, but he was completely thrown from his axis when Ian spread his cheeks apart and Ian placed his thumb on the rim of Mickey’s taut hole making small circles. The massage oil still on Ian’s fingers softened Mickey’s skin. Ian hunched over Mickey and now the small circles were joined by Ian’s thick tongue further opening Mickey up. The amount of time and attention Ian was spending to opening his broody partner up was alien for Mickey. He’d never been made to feel important when it came to physical pursuits, but his guard was down and his heart was open and there were no more expectations tethering him to the here and now.

 

Ian continued to nibble at Mickey’s plump ass as he inserted two slicked fingers into him in a scissoring motion. Damn it felt good to be pampered, this type of foreplay leading up the grand finale was going to push them both over the edge into unchartered territory. Ian felt Mickey’s body completely relaxed underneath him, “Ready for me, baby?” Ian questioned. The slow tortuous yearning that built up in Mickey was more than ready and he grunted his readiness. Ian grabbed Mickey’s hips and positioned his full dripping head against Mickey’s ass. He dragged the wet tip up and down the crack teasing Mickey further and then slowly pushed into his lover. As ready as Mickey was it was still a surprise. Ian’s shaft was engulfed, the right amount of pressure circling his member adjusting to the dips and curves. With each languid thrust Ian’s balls lightly smacked against Mickey. Hungrily Mickey rocked back onto Ian. The two found their rhythm and with the shifting weight, the bed frame creaked, urging them to keep up their slow love making. 

Mickey’s dick was swelling with fervor, his slit covered in pre-cum, his body quaking below Ian’s delicate touch. He took a deep breath so as not to crumble from the pleasure that was being doled out. Ian too was at the edge of his orgasm and he bent back down and whispered into Mickey’s ear. “Gonna cum deep inside you Mic, your ass is too good to me, fuckin’ love this ass.” Mickey was too far gone to care about what came spilling out of his mouth next. He was panting and screaming Ian’s name into the nothingness as Ian exploded inside of Mickey.  Likewise Mickey’s shaft was pumped feverishly by Ian’s free hand and within seconds he too was flowing freely ribbons of hot cum. 

The two men slumped onto the disheveled sheets. Ian was still resting inside Mickey and his hand was firmly gripped around Mickey’s subsiding hard on.  He kissed Mickey’s bare shoulders and nuzzled into the strong man. They laid there silently listening to each others breathing and feeling the warmth of their bodies still blended together. Mickey started to speak, his voice barely audible and dazed “You and I, it’s as though we have been taught to kiss in heaven and sent down to earth together, to see if we know what we were taught.” Mickey hid his face in the pillow after quoting  _ Doctor Zhivago _ to Ian. Is this what love did, make you spout love quotes, what surprised Mickey even more was how much his subconscious absorbed these love quotes unknowingly. After quoting Zhivago there was an arsenal of quotes from the classics and newer works that now Mickey could fully understand. Ian, still refusing to separate himself from Mickey, continued to cuddle against him as Mickey quoted yet again

 

“If I were to live a thousand years, I would belong to you for all of them. If we were to live a thousand lives, I would want to make you mine in each one.  _ The Evolution of Mara Dyer _ ”

 

Although Mickey didn’t want break the physical connection with Ian he wanted to gaze upon his lover as he spoke words that conveyed his feelings. Although he was an avid reader, he couldn’t really put his own thoughts into words. If people before this said it best he was going to use their words to drive the point home. He gingerly removed Ian, and turned to face him. Their foreheads touching and hands still wrapped around one another, their legs tangled underneath the flat sheet. He stared into Ian’s eyes as green as a four leaved clover and traced the freckles on Ian’s shoulder with an idle finger. His voice was stronger than ever at the next declaration.

 

“When he shall die,

Take him and cut him out in little stars,

And he will make the face of heaven so fine

That all the world will be in love with night

And pay no worship to the garish sun.

_ Romeo & Juliet _ ”

 

Ian’s eyes brimmed with tears, no one was ever going to love him with as much devotion and fierceness than the sapphire eyed beauty opposite him. Mickey began to speak again. “I didn’t stop loving you. I just learned to love everything in life a little less for self preservation. I’m learning how to love again.” 

 

“Where’s that one from?” asked Ian. The others he had a vague idea of or at least Mickey supplied him with the answer. But this one, Mickey stayed quite long after the musicality of Mickey’s voice lingered in his ears. “Me. It’s from me.” Mickey said quietly averting his eyes looking bashful. 

 

It hit Ian straight in the heart. This heartbreakingly beautiful man; that Ian had assumed the responsibility to love earnestly for as long as Mickey would let him, was fighting an internal battle. Pained from his past, and shrouded in selfmade armour to survive. It killed Ian to see how much Mickey had steeled himself and how nobody tried to save Mickey or fight with him against these demons. 

  
Ian crushed his lips against Mickey’s and refused to let up as if each kiss would revive the emotional assassin. Mickey’s cheeks were moist and he thought his heart was going to break out of his chest. The ginger wrecked him emotionally in a positive way. Maybe now he could stop masking his true feelings and be normal or as normal as a Milkovich could get. He welcomed the unconditional raw emotions that Ian conjured out of him. Unspoken they agreed to fight for each other as long as it took.


End file.
